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Breaking Habitual Patterns

Breaking Habitual Patterns

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) We mention a few times in this book that there are times when we have had a partner tell us something and we did not respond as our best self. One of the big ones for me was when I found out one partner had slept with someone new...
Don’t take things personally

Don’t take things personally

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) Of course I take things personally. Everything is about me, right? Well, not so much it turns out. Other people’s actions certainly ‘feel’ like i should be taking it personally. My emotions tell me it’s personal. But, it’s really...
Anchors

Anchors

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) Sometimes when I’m feeling emotional, I’ll turn to my ancient teddy bear for comfort. I mean, this poor bear is ancient. There are photographs of me just at the age of walking and holding onto this teddy bear at a Christmas tree....
Managing Surprises

Managing Surprises

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) I once started a relationship and, not wanting my current partner to be worried about it, I told her we are just dating but it wouldn’t go anywhere. Fast forward twelve years and we all own a house together…. One of the...
Change The Story

Change The Story

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) Have you ever had those moments of ‘he didn’t answer my email, maybe he doesn’t like me anymore’ or ‘she’s going out with him again tonight, she must like him more than me’ or a number of...
Agreements

Agreements

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) When Dawn and I started to explore polyamory as a couple, we, like many people that approach polyamory from an existing couple perspective, set up some rules. Rules that seemed to be ‘no brainers’, such as “condoms are mandatory”,...