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Breaking Habitual Patterns

Breaking Habitual Patterns

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) We mention a few times in this book that there are times when we have had a partner tell us something and we did not respond as our best self. One of the big ones for me was when I found out one partner had slept with someone new...
Don’t take things personally

Don’t take things personally

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) Of course I take things personally. Everything is about me, right? Well, not so much it turns out. Other people’s actions certainly ‘feel’ like i should be taking it personally. My emotions tell me it’s personal. But, it’s really...
Anchors

Anchors

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) Sometimes when I’m feeling emotional, I’ll turn to my ancient teddy bear for comfort. I mean, this poor bear is ancient. There are photographs of me just at the age of walking and holding onto this teddy bear at a Christmas tree....
Managing Surprises

Managing Surprises

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) I once started a relationship and, not wanting my current partner to be worried about it, I told her we are just dating but it wouldn’t go anywhere. Fast forward twelve years and we all own a house together…. One of the...
Breaking Up When Poly

Breaking Up When Poly

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit) Being broken up with sucks for monogamous people. I’m sorry to say it sucks for polyamory people as well. Now, there can be some benefits to poly in this regard – a partner might break up with me, but I may have other partners to...