Anchors

Posted On May 16, 2019

(excerpt from The Polyamory Toolkit)

Sometimes when I’m feeling emotional, I’ll turn to my ancient teddy bear for comfort. I mean, this poor bear is ancient. There are photographs of me just at the age of walking and holding onto this teddy bear at a Christmas tree. So, I’m assuming I’ve had him since I was 1 ½ years old. The poor guy has seen better days, but he has always made me feel safe and comforted.
He is one of my anchors. 

An emotional anchor is an object (usually) that anchors us in the storm. These objects can anchor us to a state of mind, bring us comfort, ground us, remind us that we are in the present.

 

My teddy bear was there through troubled times and made me feel like someone loved me. He was truly my go to for comfort. And now, he sits by my bed on a shelf and if I’m really feeling the need, I curl up in bed with him and am able to fall asleep, usually after crying on his shoulder.

 

He’s been brought down off the shelf more than once during my journey into polyamory. And I’m sure he’ll be my comfort again in the future.

 

Another anchor I used to use is a beautiful rose quartz Kwan Yin pendant. She started out as a necklace and then when the chain broke, she hung out in my pocket or my purse. Now, she sits on my altar in my meditation room.

 

And it can also be an animal. We used to have a cat, Dusty. He was a beautiful, soft fluffy Blue Persian. When I came home from a hard appointment with my therapist, Dusty would be waiting for me at the door. And as soon as I would sit on the couch, he’d be in my lap, purring and snuggling with me. He didn’t do this too often, but he certainly did it if he knew I was upset, which was usually after one of those appointments. He was absolutely an anchor that was very grounding.

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Polyamory Toolkit

 A book that focuses on specific tools people can use to address the common issues and deeper aspects of a polyamorous relationship. This work includes topics such as: Jealousy, Compersion – finding joy in your partners’ joy, Communication, Mitigating Triggers, Creating a Solid Foundation, and so much more.

Related Posts

Draft Email

Draft Email

When dawn is off with another partner – either for a dinner date or a weekend away – I want her to be engaged and attentive to that person. It is important that when she or I is with one of our other partners, we can pay attention to them. So although we may not mind...

Polyamory and power exchange

Polyamory and power exchange

exert from The Polyamory Toolkit Polyamory is a relationship style that includes multiple loving relationships. It can take many forms, but overall, that is polyamory in a nutshell.Power Exchange is a relationship style that is designed to have a hierarchal...

Compersion Journal

Compersion Journal

dawn says:   About 8 years into our polyamory journey, I found myself really struggling. This is about the time that we switched from co-amory to a form of polyamory that had us dating separately. The first form of polyamory that we tried, co-amory, was really...

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Polyamory Toolkit

 A book that focuses on specific tools people can use to address the common issues and deeper aspects of a polyamorous relationship. This work includes topics such as: Jealousy, Compersion – finding joy in your partners’ joy, Communication, Mitigating Triggers, Creating a Solid Foundation, and so much more.

Share This